Pray

Addison and I had a pretty slow weekend. Friday we were planning on going to Katy to spend some time with his oldest sister, Amy and brother-in-law Matt when we got the news that my sweet Grandmama was not doing very well... Grandmama had been diagnosed with cancer a little before the wedding; being her strong self she didn't harvest too much on it which made me think it was just going to be a little phase in her life that she was going to get through and then move on. She had planned to start chemo a couple weeks after wedding (with two different doctors opinions) and that way she was able to dance all night long at the wedding, feeling great. I have some amazing pictures that my photographer took of us dancing the night away, I didn't realize how extremely thankful I was going to be to have those. When she received her first round of chemo she felt fine for a little bit but then things took a turn for the worst....she went to the hospital because she wasn't getting enough nutrients. After not getting better we moved her to Hendrick's in Abilene. From there she was careflighted to Baylor Medical Center in Dallas where she still is. The doctor's at Baylor found out that my Grandmama lacks an enzyme that normally breaks the chemo down (which is why a normal person needs 4 or 5 rounds of it to kill the cancer cells), this means that the chemo kept circulating and circulating throughout her body, literally killing almost everything. Since then, she got pneumonia, arrhythmia in her heart and many other things. She had to be ventilated last week to give her heart a rest. She also had 2 strokes and has 3 more blood clots in her brain. She had an MRI last night (Saturday night) and we are waiting to find out the results later today, which from the looks of it there are going to have to be some hard decisions made. 

Saturday was a really tough day for me. I cried basically all day long knowing that I wouldn't have my Grandmama with me much longer. Addison and I went furniture shopping for a TV console for our living room and I'm pretty sure I even cried in the stores. We thought this would take my mind off of things for a little bit. When we got back things got even worse and I'm sorry to say but I cried myself to sleep and slept for three hours. When I woke up I had a clearer mind and was able to think things through better. This is by far one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. My Grandmama has taught me so many things...not to take yourself too seriously, to always love, how to be giving, she taught me how to sow and so many other things. Being the only girl in my family and the only grand-daughter, you can only imagine how close we are. I don't know what I am going to do without my sweet Grandmother. I love her more than words could ever say. 

I would normally not write something so personal but I need your help. I need prayer. I believe that only through prayer am I going to be able to pick up my feet and move on without her. My husband has been so sweet, praying over me and listening to me cry and talk about her. Thank you to those who have stuck around to read this. I appreciate you. 

Here are a few pictures...

Me and her at Thanksgiving 2 years ago. 

Laney and Grandmama at her birthday party a week after the wedding. 

Me, Laney and Grandmama Christmas 2 years ago. 

Grandmama and Mema Green (Addison's Grandmother) at our wedding shower in May.

The week of the wedding. 

To all those who are close to me, I love you, and I pray I never take you for granted. Call your grandparents and tell them you love them. You never know how much longer you'll have them.